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Q: How do I fill out the order sheet?

A: Read the instructions. Read them again. If you still have questions, email/DM us. If you ask us a question that is answered on the instructions, we will tell you where to look on the instructions. We write these documents for a reason.

Q: When will my order be ready to ship?
A: When your order is at the top of the queue, and we finish making your patches. We generally push out 2 or 3 orders a week.

Q: What position am I in the Queue now?
A: Contact us by whatever means you sent your order in through. We’ll let you know. If you ask us more than once every few days, please know that you’re acting like an annoying child on a road trip.

Q: I need help with my order!/I want to cancel my order!
A: Contact us via whatever means you sent your order through and we’ll help you.

Q: Can I get a commission?
A: Depends. We’re busy people and we don’t like to take on multiple at once. Check on our twitter and website to see if we’re accepting commissions.

Q: Your commissions are closed; how do I know when they’re open?
A: Ask us. We can put you on an email list, or DM you on twitter when we’re close to opening them. We’ll let you know at least 24 hours ahead of time and give you the time they’ll be opening. Commission opening will be announced on twitter, first come first serve once they’re open.

Q: Can I get an order of 20+ patches?
A: Yes, but only as a commission. We have one hobby-grade machine, and we’re both very busy, so regularly churning out massive runs of patches takes a long time.

Q: Can you make me a nametag/a set of nametapes?
A: Go hit up amazon or find some boot to get you tapes. Don’t waste my time.

Q: Do you have this color of fabric/Do you have this attachment method?
A: If it’s not listed on the instructions sheet we don’t. If you want something we don’t have, consider doing a commission.

Q: Can I pay via PayPal/Money Order/Western Union/Messenger Pidgeon?
A: no.

Q: I had the money when I placed my order but now I don’t!
A: We can hold onto your patches for up to a week until you have enough to pay. After that you’ll be placed on “standby” in the queue and the patches we stitched for you will go to other orders. Your patches will be restitched once you are ready to pay.

Q: Why are the borders on your patches so big?
A: Most professional patches have merrowed borders, which requires a machine we don’t have. We have larger borders to ensure the fabric used doesn’t stick out the edges and make the patch look funny.

Q: Who are you?
A: Some dumb twentysomethings who got a cheap embroidery machine and wanted to Seize the Means of Production or whatever. This is a side gig for us but we love patches and love making new designs and hate how fucking expensive they are.

Q: Wow this seems sus
A: Most ecommerce sites are built for middle-aged moms selling their crocheted doilies and Artisanal Vintage Hammered Brass Sculptures or whatever. They’re not made for someone who wants meaningful control over the selling process. Every site takes a cut of the money and enforces certain dumb shipping rules. We do this so it’s cheaper for both you and us. 65 cent shipping for a $5 patch ain’t bad.

Q: You’re rude/You swear too much
A: Yes. We’re not here to beg for customers, we’re here to make patches and sell them. If you want a seller who lets you walk all over them, go somewhere else.

Q: Be Gay Do Crimes?/What’s with the politics?
A: When you belong to a minority group, “politics” is what the majority group calls you doing literally anything to exist. Trans rights, Nazi Punks Fuck Off, etc. etc. If you don’t like it I’m not forcing you to buy a patch, I’m not a cop. Touch some grass.

Q: This is the bottom of the FAQ and my question isn’t on here!
A: Reread it. If you still haven’t found it, email or DM us, we’ll see what we can do to help.